Blacktallywhacker’s Weblog

I dare anyone to name or describe something more thrilling and exciting than lying to a drunk girl. Sex? Nope. Graduating college? Think again. Holding your first born child in your arms? Puh-uh-lease. There is nothing that ranks higher in terms of visceral and euphoric pleasure than fibbing to an intoxicated lass.

Honestly, I don’t know why I feel the compulsion to lie. All i know is that I can’t get by the introduction phase without at least lying about my real name. Maybe it’s because it’s just so easy to lie to someone gullible or it’s more a reflection of me unwilling to ever divulge any information regarding myself, but all i know it is some goddamn fun.

The best lie I ever told was telling a really drunk girl I worked at a morgue. The fact that I was always able to stay one step ahead of her questioning made me tingle with glee. I told her I majored in criminal justice but somehow ended up with a morgue. I went as far as to explain how to embalm a body (i had no clue i was just taking shit out of my ass and just throwing it). The girl seemed genuinely interested by we talked for at least 45 minutes. If you’re asking yourself at home why I didn’t take this girl to pound town–I don’t really know why I didn’t. Only circumstances I can say is, I wasn’t really that drunk, it was like 7pm at McGees, and this girl was far from attractive.

Remember, lying for the sake of lying is never a good trait. Be clever with your lies and the truth should never have to fly.